


Flu Season 2.5

by zarrati



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, flu season AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-27
Updated: 2015-11-27
Packaged: 2018-05-03 15:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5296520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarrati/pseuds/zarrati
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would have happened if Ben hadn't dropped his phone in the puddle during Flu Season 2?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flu Season 2.5

**Author's Note:**

> So, I’m kind of ignoring that whole “other Ron” encounter because I highly doubt that a man in a hurry to get home to his distraught sounding wife would really take the time to try to call out to his spirit animal in the middle of the woods. This definitely get’s a little AU here. Hope you enjoy my take on this!

“And I was just telling Ron that my dog’s Jewish-”

The phone began to slip out of Ben’s hand, but he managed to fumble with it before catching it.

“Ben? Ben?!” he heard before putting the phone back up to his ear.

“Sorry, babe. My phone wanted to go for a swim in the puddle, but I stopped it.”

“Uhm, are you okay? Why do you sound so weird?”

“I’m perfectly fine,” he said smoothly, or as smoothly as he could given the circumstances. “I went up to the winery with everybody and found some blue alcohol that takes like candy, and I had a lot of it.”

She gasped into the receiver. “Oh my God, you’re drunk. I have to tell you probably the most important thing in our entire lives, and you’re drunk.”

“Whaddya mean?” he slurred. “Is this about that Chocolate Chipp guy? Is he coming to the concert?”

“It’s Chipp McCapp, and no it’s not about that. Ugh, I’m in Indianapolis right now trying to talk him into coming, but as soon as I’m done here, I’m going home. Try to sober up until then and meet me there. It’s important.”

There are muffled voices in the background and she spoke again.

“Okay, well I have to go, but I mean it. Sober up and get home.”

“Baby doll, don’t be upset. I’m sorry. You can still tell me.”

She sighed. “No, I really can’t. Not with you like this. Look, I really have to go. I’ll see you at home.”

She hung up without a goodbye, and Ben stared at the phone in his hand.

“At the risk of sounding like I give a damn, is everything alright, son?” Ron asked.

“I dunno. Leslie called and said she had the biggest news ever, but got mad and wouldn’t tell me because I’m drunk. I need to get home.” He spun around in a circle before pointing at a point in the distance. “Home is that way.”

He scrambled over the fence before falling to the ground on the other side.

“I believe I should join you,” Ron said as Ben tried to dust himself off. “I always enjoy a walk, and left on your own, you’d be dead by nightfall.”

 

* * *

 

“I just don’t get it,” Ben said after a few miles, breaking the silence. “First my Dad tells me he sold the lake house and now Leslie calls me freaking out. Plus, I have no signal out here in these damn woods, so if she tries calling me again, I won’t know. Why did today just go to shit?”

Ron breathed out heavily through his nose. “I’m afraid I can’t answer that question for you.”

“Ugh, I just wish that she would have told me and got it over with. The suspense is killing me.”

“Well, I would assume that whatever news Leslie had to relay to you was meaningful enough that she didn’t want it to be tainted by your insobriety. As a side note, you really need to learn how to hold your liquor better.”

“Ron, can we please not talk about my low alcohol tolerance and get back to what’s important. Now, you know Leslie pretty well. Do you have any idea what it could be?”

“I try to not notice things about my coworkers.”

Ben ran an angry hand through his hair. “You’re no help. Fine, I guess I’ll have to just try to figure it out myself. Okay, she said it was the most important thing in our entire lives, but I doubt it’s about the Unity Concert since she said it’s not about Chipp McCapp, and Letters to Cleo already signed on, so it can’t really get any better than that. Wait, important news is usually good news, right?”

Ron pursed his lips. “I suppose it could be, although bad news could be equally as important.”

“Damn, that’s true. Oh God, I hope she’s okay. Maybe she’s sick. She’s been really nauseous these last few days. I mean it can’t be that bad or she wouldn’t be in Indianapolis . But then again, getting this Chipp guy is a huge deal for her, so I can still see her going…Shit, I have no idea.”

Ron furrowed his brow. “She’s been nauseous, you say?”

“Yeah. Like, really super pukey. Maybe it’s the flu that’s been going around? But that’s hardly the most important news of our lives.”

Ben continued walking in front of Ron, muttering to himself.

“Ben, I think it would be wise it you gave it a rest. Dwelling on it will only make it worse, and quite frankly, your constant talking is giving me a headache.”

He whipped around and pointed a finger in Ron’s face. “You know, I’m getting sick and tired of your constant negative comments.”

“I would advise you to get your finger out of my face.”

“No, no way,” Ben argued with a shake of his head. “Yes, maybe I am still rather drunk and maybe that’s the only reason that I’m stupid enough to challenge you, but you are being a terrible friend right now. I don’t know how after everything we’ve been through together, you can completely ignore my pain and frustration. Not only am I dealing with the not knowing what possible life changing news my wife has for me once I get home, but a very important place from my childhood was just taken away from me. So if you aren’t going to help me figure out what’s wrong with Leslie, than I’m going to ramble to myself as much as I want.”

He whirled back around and stomped forward, nearly tripping over a fallen tree branch.

“What’s so special about this lake house, anyway,” Ron followed after him with a huff.

Ben threw his hands up in exasperation. “What’s so special? You have literally not listened to a word that I’ve said all afternoon! That place meant a lot to me growing up and I have some amazing memories there, and the fact that my parents sold it without our consent infuriates me.”

“You haven’t been there in years.”

“That doesn’t mean I won’t ever go back. I don’t know, maybe one day I would want to relive those days when I was a kid, maybe take my kids there someday, but now I can’t.”

Ron nodded slowly. “And kids, this is something that you’ve talked to Leslie about?”

“A little,” Ben shrugged. “I mean, we’ve talked about it in the more general sense. We both definitely want kids but haven’t really discussed when or anything recently.”

“Well, children are indeed a blessing. Diane telling me she was pregnant was one of the most important moments of my life.”

Ron quickly frowned, like he was embarrassed for saying too much, but there was also something expectant in his stare.

“Yeah, it’s definitely life changing, that’s for sure,” Ben replied. He took a few more paces until he froze in his tracks, whipping his head up as the pieces seemed to connect in his brain. “Wait a minute, why are you acting like you care all of a sudden and asking me questions?”

“It’s what you wanted, wasn’t it? Goodness, man, make up your damn mind.”

“Yes, it’s what I wanted,” Ben answered slowly, “but since when has that ever mattered.”

Ben scrutinized the mustached man in front of him, Ron getting increasingly more uncomfortable.

“You know something you’re not telling me,” he deduced with narrowed eyes.

“Ben-”

“What is it? Do you know Leslie’s news? Did she tell you what it was and you decided to make me talk about the lake house to divert my attention so I wouldn’t guess?”

“That is ridiculous,” Ron scoffed. “I would never agree to a favor that required me to make idle conversation with someone.”

“But you still know, and don’t say you don’t because that would make you a liar.”

Ron grimaced at the subtle insult. “I can say truthfully that I don’t know what it is for sure, but given the copious amounts of information you’ve given to me, I can make an assumption.”

“Copious amounts of information?” Ben asked incredulously. “What are you even talking about?”

“Sometimes I wonder about you. Everything we have discussed post phone call has pointed directly to your answer. Just think about it.”

“God, you and your puzzle solving mind,” Ben mumbled. “Okay, so Leslie calls and tells me she has to tell me the most amazing news of our lives, refuses to tell me drunk, we said that the news wasn’t Unity Concert related, we talked about how Leslie’s been sick, then the lake house and family memories and kids, and then you said that Diane telling you she was pregnant was one of the most important moments of your life and-”

Ben’s eyes widened as his inebriated mind finally caught up to him.

“No, you don’t think…”

“I almost feel guilty for for making you realize it before Leslie has the chance to tell you, but you and your damn questions. I told you to just let it go.”

Ben hobbled over to an overturned log and sat down. “Oh my God. You think-you think that Leslie is pregnant?”

“That is my opinion, yes.”

“I mean, I guess it makes sense. She’s been nauseous and a bit more hormonal than normal lately. I mean she almost started crying over an oatmeal commercial, but I just thought it was stress from the Unity Concert.” Ben suddenly puts his head into his hands and groans. “Good Lord, my wife calls to tell me she’s pregnant and I’m off getting shit faced. My child is still barely a fetus, and I’m off screwing up.”

Ron walked up beside him and placed an awkward hand on his shoulder. “Ben, I’m sure this is all coming as a big shock for you, but this is one of the most wonderful experiences you will ever have. You are a good man, and you and Leslie will make fine parents.“

“You really think so?”

“Now, if I didn’t mean it, that’d make me a liar now, wouldn’t it?” Ron smirked until he noticed his hand still sitting on Ben’s shoulder and roughly jerked it away. “Now, stop feeling sorry for yourself, and get home to your wife.”

He took of down the trail before Ben could say another word.

 

* * *

 

It was just past dusk by the time Ben made it home, noting Leslie’s car sitting in the driveway. With a deep breath, he walked through the front door.

Leslie was sitting on the living room couch, already changed out of her work clothes and anxiously flipping through a magazine.

Her eyes lit up when she noticed him walk in, but her expression soon turned to one of confusion and concern.

“Oh my God, what happened to you?”

He rushed over to her and barely muttered out a brief dismissal before her pulled her into a tight, desperate hug.

“Uhm, okay,” she said in surprise before squeezing him back. “I’m glad to see you, too.”

Once they broke apart, Ben lead her to the couch.

“So,” Leslie began, “I know I was kind of annoyed with you earlier when I called, but I was dealing with a lot of things and feelings and-”

“No, it’s okay. And I know you have something important to tell me, but I just need to say this.”

Leslie raised her eyebrows, but nodded for him to continue.

“First of all, I am so sorry that I wasn’t able to be there for you when you called. I didn’t exactly plan on getting drunk, but there was really strong, delicious wine, and I was upset about my parents and the lake house, and it just happened.

“But out in the woods today, Ron helped me realize and think on a lot of things. I was so upset about the lake house because of all of the memories I had there, and one day I wanted to take our family there and make new memories. I know we’ve talked about it before, but I’m ready if you are. I want to start making those new memories. I’m ready to start our family.”

Leslie looked at him with tears in her eyes, a soft smile playing on her lips.

“Well, buddy, I’ve got some good news for you.”

A wide grin spread across Ben’s face. “So, it’s true?!” He pulled her in for a kiss before wrapping his arms around her. “Oh my God, babe, I’m so happy.”

She pulled away and started wiping at the tears that managed to make their way down her face. “Me, too. I can hardly believe it…Wait a minute, what did you mean ‘so it’s true’? Andy didn’t tell you already, did he?”

Now it was Ben’s turn to be confused. “What? Andy knows?”

“Yeah, it was weird. I was kind of venting to him a little bit and he was getting very philosophical about everything, and I thought he figured it out on his own so I spilled the beans. Turns out he thought we were getting a dog. But I swore him to secrecy, so he better not have told you.”

“It wasn’t Andy, I swear,” Ben said. “Actually, it was Ron that helped me figure it out.”

“How the hell did he know?”

“He just guessed,” Ben shrugged. “You’ve been nauseous and had important news for me. Apparently that’s all it took for him to get it. I’m sorry, and I hope you aren’t upset, but it didn’t make you telling me any less special or amazing.”

“I know,” she answered with a slight frown, reaching out to play with the buttons on his dress shirt. “I just figured I’d be the one to tell you first, but I gotta say, your speech beforehand definitely made me feel a lot better. I mean regardless, this is the most amazing thing ever, but I was also a little nervous since we had agreed to hold off for a little while.”

“No. This…this is the greatest news I could have ever heard.” He put a gentle hand on her still flat belly and smiled. “Our baby’s in here.”

She placed her hand over his and laughed. “Yup, it is.”

“Wow,” he whispered in awe. “I’m gonna be a dad.”

“The best dad, ever,” Leslie said as she laced their fingers together.

“I’ll try my best, especially since it’s going to have the greatest mom, ever.”

Leslie stood and tugged on Ben’s hand. “Come on, we’ve got a lot of work to do. I have about a million binders I need to make, and don’t tell me you aren’t itching to start on a baby spreadsheet.”

“You know me well.” He leaned over and gave her a slow, soft kiss. “But first, I think we should continue celebrating.”

“Hmm, isn’t that how I got this way in the first place?” she teased.

“Well, look on the bright side. At least I can’t get you pregnant.”


End file.
